do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
