btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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