Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
