And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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