How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She's the barista slut.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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