look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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