if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
