The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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