people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
