Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
