I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who died my cat blue again?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
