to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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