Do you still have your period?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
