I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
