god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
