it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize