i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
