it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize