You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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