you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
