it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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