I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
