Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
