no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
