I want to stick my p in your. b.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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