I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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