Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
