JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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