So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
