You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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