Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
