You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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