Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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