You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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