Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
