I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
