It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
