I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you will always have a special place in my vag
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
