Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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