You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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