wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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