Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
