Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize