i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
