Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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