We're facebook friends in real life
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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