man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
jump out the window naked night went bad
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
