That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Damn victory sex feels great
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
