I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
