kristin has been a bad kristin
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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