My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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