Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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