At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
