i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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