Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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