I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Farmville is her only friend.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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