I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize