Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We have started to decorate penises.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
