Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
