All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
