Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
