to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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