Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
