An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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